No More Pull-Ups!

For along time it has felt like we would never be done buying diapers. It was just one of those things that you always need and when they go on sale you buy double because you know the next month you will still need them. Owen may still have a few months to go, but I think we are nearing the end of his diaper days, and Elijah is officially out of Pull-Ups!!! >yay! happy dance!!!!<
About two months ago I decided, okay it's time for this kid to stop costing us fifty cents a night just for peeing on something. But what approach to take? Martin suggested getting up at 3 or 4 to take him to the bathroom in the middle of the night... are you crazy?!!! No, I was not up for that. So I introduced a modified version. "Let's try just taking him to the bathroom before we go to bed." It took a few weeks to get the hang of it, on both sides. Sometimes I still forget, and sometimes he still cries.
He is such a deep sleeper that it really surprises him to be woken up. Most nights he is just a limp zombie using me as support to tramp to the bathroom. It's kinda cute actually. I've begun to enjoy going into his dark room, hearing those deep snores, seeing the shadow of a peaceful face... and after the job is done I get to do my favorite part- tucking him back in kissing him on the forehead, and saying a second "goodnight." Tonight his hair still smelled fresh and clean from his bath... how did he get so big?
For a while I was doing a lot of laundry. He would wake up in the early mornings wet and crying. But now after weeks of practice and a sticker chart the plan seems to be working perfectly... except on those nights when waking him up to go, escapes me. Our next milestone is for him to wake up on his own... that will truly mean potty trained freedom!
I had no idea this would take so long! This will make some of you laugh... While pregnant with him, I read lots and lots of parenting and baby magazines. I came across an article about potty training; the writer told how each of her three children had went through it differently and the last one just decided to do it on her own one day. The idea seemed easy. I knew at that point that all kids do things their own way at their own pace, for I am living proof of that (it took me the longest to learn everything from walking to how to ride a bike), so I thought this potty training thing would be more natural. I thought I was well prepared simply by reading a two-page article. Of course as he got closer to the appropriate age, I read books, asked his doctor, and made the usual efforts. But it sure has been a long long road to success.
And now that Owen is in the beginning stages of it, my insides are cringing, fearing I'm in for yet another long journey of messes, and laundry, and never quite being prepared enough.
But on the upside... trading buying Pull-Ups every month for taking Elijah to the potty at 10:30 every night- totally worth it!!!

Potato Soup

Rainy and grey outside... very few ingredients in my ridge or pantry... hmmm... it's a potato soup day. The first time I remember having home made potato soup I was seven years old and we had traveled from New Mexico to Kalispel, Montana to stay with my grandparents. It was already dark and way past bedtime when we arrived, but my grandma had a hot pot of her special creamy homemade potato soup waiting for us. It was perfect, and better than any soup I had ever tasted. I wanted more... I wanted to know how she made it so white and delicious.
That was a rainy weekend too, but now I make my own potato soup. Little did I know then how easy it is, how few ingredients it takes, and just how perfectly more satifying those two facts add to the soup.

I start mine with butter... because everything is better with butter. I add some chopped onions, let them carmelize with some garlic! Mmmm it smells like heaven already. Then in goes the chicken stock, chopped potatoes, carrots, and sometimes celery, a little milk, basil maybe or whateer other herb I am feeling like... and then a few minutes later...Mmmm Mmmm good- homemade potato soup!

It makes me feel warm inside and out and reminds me of the simplicity of hospitality. Thanks Grandma!

My Boys- A Saturday

I spent this saturday morning with a cuddly 4-yr-old and a not so cuddly 2-yr-old, on the couch. We watched cartoons... well I should say, they watched cartoons, I got in a few more winks while one snuggled under my blanket and the other bounced at my feet. They are so incredible.

Yesterday, for the first time in I don't know how long, they were both asleep at the same time in the midde of the afternoon, so Martin and I put in the Netflix I had been saving all week to watch with him. It took us back to times before kids, when we had no one to think about, but us. About twenty minutes into the movie, a sleepy-eyes Elijah came sauntering out. Without saying a word, he just smiled and climbed up onto the couch with us, giving me a hug. I looked at Martin and said, "Where did this boy come from? Do we really have a 4-yr-old?" Sometimes it just doesn't seem real that we are parents, that the boys are really ours.

I love how silly they are. They constantly make me laugh, and it's usually not on purpose because they just say things... unlike adults... they don't filter- it just comes out exactly as they think it up. Today Elijah said, "Mommy, sometimes when I yawn, my eyes get juicy!" Those observations are so priceless to me. I just smiled and tucked away that little moment for later.

I love that Owen copies EVERYTHING big brother does. Today they got in a fight over who could sing "Awesome God." "No I'm singing it," "No I'm singing it!" Singing it together would just be too easy! They are also at the age where anything having to do with potty words is hilarious. They make up words that rhyme with potty words and say them over and over making each other laugh. then they usually start the spitting games... not my favorite, though those sounds might beat out the potty words.

My Favorite is how loving they are. They make sure everyone gets hugged and kissed and everyone in the house knows that they are loved (no matter who it is). Sometimes Owen will mention randomly all the people and things that he loves. Last night in the car he specificaly said, "I love Papa, and Lijah loves Grandma!" It always melts my heart the most when they speak those words to me. "Wuv you mommy!," Owen will say and spread his arms out wide for me to hug him and scoop him up like the baby I am trying to keep him. And Elijah is also quick to share his "I love you's." It's his dark brown eyes that always make me want to freeze time when he says those words. I love my sweet boys... I'm going to be in good hands someday when they take care of me!!!

Canadian Geese...Really?

A few months ago, when the first snow began to stick covering the ground in a thick white blanket, I noticed something spectacular on my daily route to take Elijah to school. I always take the back way, which is full of God's beauty everywhere I look- wide open spaces, fields, mountains splashed graceful and strong in the background. Why would anyone choose to take the highway? So there are many fields I pass along the way. The first morning, I only caught it out of the corner of my eye... this spectacular sight, but everyday after that I became obsessed with fascination, I had to drive by to see it. Huddled together, stretched out across a mile-long field were hundreds of Canadian Geese... hundreds! I couldn't believe it. What were they all doing here? Why did they come to this specific field?
It became part of our daily routine to look for the Geese. "Let's see if the geese are there today," I would tell the boys on our way. They would both bubble up with excitement, "ooh yeah, mommy, I think they're there!" And they were, consistently for weeks and weeks, this great amazing cluster of grey and black- such a contrast against the white frozen ground beneath them. I so desperately wanted to capture a picture, but that was impossible. Merely slowing down to get a longer glance at them caused the cars behind me to get impatient. There was no place to pull over either. So their beauty is captured only in my memory.
When the snow melted, the geese to began to disappear. The group got smaller and smaller, until they had gone altogether. But where? I wanted to know. I missed them, in a way. Then one Sunday afternoon, I saw them. They had claimed a new field, a much larger one, and acquired more friends as well. Their new stretch of land wasn't a flat field like before, this was a few miles of rolling greens. I could see puddles in places that looked more like small ponds, they liked that a lot. But still I wonder what makes them stick together, and gather in these huge groups? I never see one off by itself, they don't even fly alone... always together. The more I think about them, the more remarkable their design, the more I am reminded of a truly Great creator who plans everything beyond what we can understand or imagine. I also find myself envying them, just alittle. I know- I just got even weirder. I don't feel that "togetherness" in my life. They way they do everything together, supporting each other. When I see them flying in their "V" One doesn't lead for long, they switch places while keeping their formation, so that none of them are leading too long. Can you imagine if we worked together like geese? Maybe I've just been lonely too long, and I'm starting to see "community" everywhere... the one thing I miss the most.
Either way, I still obsessively look forward to seeing the Geese gathered together in their special place, and I still wonder in awe that they do. I still think about my creator... if He can design this simple bird to function in this way... surely I am much more capable to work together with others- to build and support- to love and to care, and to give my life for His purpose.

*note* I apologize for not having a picture!

A Snow Day

Can I call in sick? That was the question floating in my head last Thursday morning. I woke up feeling like someone or something had taken oever my body and there was no way I was going to be functional that day. Thankfully Martin usually has thursdays off... I was hoping he'd take both boys to drop off Elijah, so I could get some rest. Just as we were finishing breakfast, my phone rang. It was my mom. No school- she told me. I never turn on the news to see the moving cancelations at the bottom of the screen, that is until she calls me. So it was officially a snow day, and I couldn't be more thankful. It was just what we needed. Martin played with the boys all day, and yes even though he was home, a mom is never really "off duty." I couldn't help watching them play outside and snapping pictures, along with taking numerous tissues to the back door for runny noses.
Almost a week later now, and I'm still not 100% better. My throat feels like fire every time I swallow, but at least my energy is back. Being a "sick mom" is the worst.

When Moms Breathe

Something crazy and unpredictable happens to me everyday. It takes some getting used to. Most days I still fight it. Really? This can't be happening! I don't want to deal with messes and catastrophes every other minute... who does. But I'm learning to accept that it's just part of the job.
Some weeks, like last week, so much happened that I barely had a moment to absorb it, to sit down and say, "wow that was awful, but things are going to be okay." (Yes I talk to myself on a regular basis).
First it was a batch of chocolate chip cookies that someone just had to help with, which turned out edible, but... interesting. Then it was the blood-curdling scream that stopped my heart and rushed us to the urgent care for seven stitches in my four year olds forehead. *aaahhhhhh* still not fully recovered from that incident- that's not supposed to happen to my kid- I'm supposed to be able to keep him safe... right? Then it was on with our normal schedule... well there's really nothing normal about it. Changing Elijah's soaked through sheets - everyday... daddy zooming in and out and having his weekend in the middle of our week and sleeping when were playing. Then there was the grocery store incident, well I shouldn't really call it an incident because every grocery trip is like this... ya know one wants to pull the groceries out of the cart and throw them on the floor or eat the grocery list, the other wants to ride on the cart like its a rocket, there's screaming, pleas for this or that, and ultimately one of us leaves the store crying, last week there were two of us crying because I forgot to bring the right card in my wallet to purchase the groceries and had to put them on the account that has no money in it. (thankfully, my wonderful husband went back to the store later that day and the groceries charged to the right account).
Sometimes I wonder, when will I feel in control again? When will life slow down? But the truth is, that's not really what I want. This morning, Owen got up early as usual, long before the sun. "Watch Ice Skating Mommy?" he said. We laid on the couch. No, Ice Skating wasn't on. He was remembering yesterday when we'd watched it together. A few minutes passed with him chattering away... "Go give Wije Kiss?" (Wije is what he calls big brother). "No Lijah's sleeping still." I told him. Then the alarm went off. "Have Wogurt(yogurt), Mommy?" "Okay, let's have yogurt." We turned the lights on, soon his face was covered with vanilla yogurt and so were his hands. When Elijah got up he gave me a big hug and a kiss and with a smile said, "I love you mommy."
Okay, I don't care that I have to change diapers and sheets, wipe noses and bottoms and give up the predictability I once valued. These boys love so easily and so simply, it just warms my heart to look at them.

The Glamourous Life

Last week, Owen found an unopened copy of Glamour magazine in my bedroom. I used to be a subscriber a few years ago, I guess I just never got around to opening that issue. Anyways, one day when both boys were taking their rest time, I decided to flip though it. There were almost a hundred fashion ideas on how to use things from your own closet and re-create them, the usual beauty tips, etc.
In that short time, I was transported back in time to when those things consumed most of my day. I used to paint my nails a new color every week, fix my hair in new creative ways, and look forward to planning a cute out fit each and every day.
Things are different now. I probably paint my nails twice a year. And lately, doing my hair consists of throwing on my favorite hat. I'm not saying I'm dis-satisfied, actually I think I've adapted quite well considering how important thosse things used to be. But then again, as I flipped through those colorful glossy pages, I thought, "Oh yeah, this stuff used to be fun."
Now that Owen is nearly two, I'm in sort of a transitional phase. I really could do some of those things, it just takes some planning. He's not completely dependant on me the way he used to be... I get regular showers now, and sleep. I guess I have to admit... he's really not a baby anymore. That's hard for me to say. It's hard for me to move on to the "next part" I guess. He talks now... he understands so much, and catches on to things that don't seem possible. I was watching the movie "the Holiday" (one of my favs) and he was playing in the living room with me. Well there's a scene where one of the characters says, "Oh My Gosh!" so what do you think my almost two year old said for the next five minutes? yep. It was funny and a little disturbing a the same time. I guess I can't watch non-kid movies when he's awake anymore.
I do understand my reality... life isn't ever going to be "glamourous," but that doesn't mean it can't be fun.
Guess what? I painted my nails last night- "purple rain" oh yeah... I'm ready for fun!