4-week Countdown!

In less than a month, there will be a brand new person in our family!  It's hard to believe he's almost here- our baby William! Yesterday I had my 36 week appointment.  We talked about how I want the birth to go, and what to expect.  I feel more than ready for that day.  I'm much more worried about life after his birth than the actual delivery.  The post-delivery care (which yes, I sort of forgot about), and having a newborn again along with two very busy boys... those are the things that seem challenging.  Sometimes I wonder if I'm going to be okay, if I can really handle life with all of these BOYS!

Four weeks will go by quickly, and our lives will change forever.  Owen and Elijah will have a new little brother to love and learn from.  And we will have another son to teach us and stretch us beyond what we thought possible.  Isn't that what children do?  They show you what love really is.  Through nurturing them, we too nurture our souls by growing in patience, compassion, and selflessness.  I am such a different person than I was before having kids, and with each one I change a little more.

This time around it feels different... maybe because I have wanted this baby for so long, and he has been in my heart long before he was ever in my womb.  I can't wait to look into his eyes with the knowing feeling that he is mine and see him finally looking back at me.  We'll be having him at the Midwife clinic where I had Owen, and I'm expecting things to be rather similar.  I love being able to give birth the way it was meant to be... simply, naturally, and beautifully.  I'm lucky, I guess that my body cooperates.  Owen was delivered quickly after only about 5 hours of labor.  Martin got to help deliver him, which was so special, and we are planning to do this with William also. 

With just weeks left, I'm constantly trying to get more and more done.   The summer has been a nice transition period since we haven't had the schedule of school to deal with, but shortly after William's birth school will begin again.  This means I have to get everything ready... school clothes, supplies, organization, etc.  We're almost finished with a dresser for the big boys room.  It's about fifty years old, but now you couldn't tell. We painted the frame off-white, and each drawer is a different color, with boyish accents like a rocket, moon, stars, and the word "imagine."

The baby room is perfect.  I love going in there just to sit.  Sometimes I hold the little heavy-bottomed elephant my mom bought for William and rock in the glider, imagining holding a baby instead. I'm not sure we'll be in there much other than to change diapers, maybe to nurse, but he'll be sleeping in our room for a while, and I see myself nursing, well everywhere!

In the meantime, I am enjoying my other two boys, or should I say three counting Martin? Owen has become such an imaginative chatter box.  He loves to stay in-character throughout the day for whatever it is he is pretending... mostly superheroes, but there is the occasional monster, robot, or animal. Elijah plays along for a while, but wants to do his own thing eventually. They both love building, and thank goodness now Owen can pedal his tricycle, so they ride around together, when I feel like I can make it around the block a few times!

 Martin has been absolutely wonderful throughout this pregnancy.  He gets up early to help me with chores before work, and we spend night together on the couch with icecream, a movie, and usually I get a foot rub. He's nearly finished with the adorable baby hat he's been knitting for William. I can't wait to see it on him!!! I'm going to miss all of these evening we've had when the boys are in bed and it's just us.  But then again, it will be pretty easy to hold and nurse a baby on the couch next to him!

                                                              WHO'S PREGNANT?

And then there were five!!!

Ten Weeks To Go Time!

I really thought I would be blogging more.  I think of blogs all day long, and even begin great introductory sentences, even entire paragraphs in my head while driving or giving a bath. Optimistically, I think... I'll write that down as soon as... and well that moment never quite happens.  The nap I expected Owen to take so I would have a little "me" time while Elijah quietly worked on a project, well again that would be the optimist in me assuming these things.  So I haven't written a thing in weeks, yet so much has happened that I feel I could write twenty-five blogs in the next hour.

Noteable Newness:

Another pregnancy milestone has been reached... the 30 week mark! Which means the 10 week countdown! I can't believe it. Part of me feels that I've been so busy this little guy has grown inside me faster than ever.  I mean, there's no getting away from actually being pregnant, but when you have so many other things to do other than sit around and admire your expanding belly... it kind of sneaks up on you in a way.  It seems just days ago I was looking in the mirror at a nearly flat belly in wonder that there was a new little life in there... small as a jellybean.  Now he's the size of a watermelon, or maybe an oversized cantelope.
I've been thanking God for the cool weather.  I know most of you are sick of all the rain over here in North Idaho, but to me it's a good sign of a very mild summer- how perfect for my summer son to be born in. I don't do well with the heat, so I am entirely gracious!

Getting out of bed has become one of my days greatest challenges. It really is quite the event.  And the fact that I have to do it numerous times throughout the night now... is just plain taxing. I have this huge body pillow, great for supporting, not so great for maneuvering over and re-situating in the middle of the night. The whole process takes a few minutes. Martin gives up waiting for me to get comfortable and pretty much stays on his side (what's left of it) out of my way.

I had my first five massages included in my pre-natal package at the clinic today. Awesome! I think this should be required for all pregnant women.  There are so many aches and pains that we have to go through, massages should definitely be mandatory! I've had hip pain for at least a month now (sciatic nerve) and the therapist knew just the right pressure point to work on! The massages are just one of the many things I love about the care at the Midwife clinic.

The baby room is painted (thanks to everyone who did all of the hard work)! It looks so lovely! I need to do a post just on it's completion.  And of course I keep meaning to... but other things come up like making dinner, silly annoying things like that! It is the most wonderful room in the house right now... I go in there just to look at it and smile.  I can't wait to have it all ready for baby William.  I still can't decide where to put things.  The crib is in place, but I decided to wait to put the bedding on, I don't want it to get dusty.  I also washed and put the few baby clothes I have saved from the other two boys in a bin under the crib. It was fun looking through them again.  I gave a lot away, but kept some of my favorites thinking I would make a memory quilt with them... hah.. I don't sew, but that's a different story.

It's a phenomenal thing to watch your own body grow at such a rapid rate.  Even though I've been through this two other times, it still amazes me in so many ways.  You expect to fit something you wore last week... nope already too small.  Or you buy a "medium" maternity top sizing it up without trying it on because who are you kidding with two kids it just isn't worth it... and nope doesn't fit. (at least it was only $1) yep, I refuse to spend much more on maternity clothes!  I love the idea of sharing because they don't get much wear, you get variety by sharing, and of course it is way cost effective!

My two sweet boys are growing more exciting for baby to come just as Martin and I are.  They keep thinking it's going to be any moment like I'll just be sitting on the couch one moment and holding the baby the next.  "Isn't the baby going to be here now?" they'll ask.  The time frame doesn't exactly make sense to them.  I tell them things like,  "right before school starts," or, "right after daddy's birthday, then the baby will be here.  Elijah is very excited about holding the baby and giving him gentle kisses which he demonstrated to me today.  Owen is excited to be bigger than someone else in the family. When we talk about him being "big" brother he is very happy and pleased with himself.

On the hard days, I doubt myself.  Let me rephrase that... during the hard moments I hear that little voice in my head, "how are you going to do this?"  "three?"   "AHHHHHH!" They really are only moments and not days, for all days have both and good and tough stuff in them.  Sometimes it feels hopeless because I'm getting bigger and more tired and less... "me-ish." Who knew it would take so much of me to do what I need to do each day, and many days I want to do more than I need to do... I want to have fun, and do more than "enough." I remember the doubts from before... the crying... the fears, but I also remember that God chose me for this.  It is a special honor to get chosen for such a challenging task- the mother of three boys. He must believe I can do it, and most of me is completely excited. 

I know these next two months are going to be the hardest.  My kids may watch more t.v. than usual, and I may lay on the couch when it's perfectly brilliant outside, but that's okay.  I may want to kill a few people for their responses when I tell them my due date.... "August, really...wow you've still got a LONG way to go!"  obviously, I know that already thank you very much! But it's okay... people sometimes don't think things through. But if you see me, or some other pregnant lady... be kind, please.  We even accept lies at this point- tell us we look pretty, cute, or something like that. Words are important... use them carefully.  And,  thanks for your support.

The countdown begins... 10, 9, 8...... here we go!

Mountain of Change #2

This was always one of my favorite "I Love Lucy" episodes. What a great way to tell your husband that you're going to have a baby. They are so sweet it almost makes me cry every time I watch it. I would have wanted to tell Martin in a fun creative way like this, but usually I am too impatient.
So, if you haven't guessed already, or heard otherwise from other sources... YES, we're having a baby, my baby and me... a third time around! Now I could tell you the long journey of how we came to this point. How it took a couple years or going back and forth on the idea, me giving up and him finally coming around, but who wants to hear all of that? All you want to know is we're having another baby, we're are both on the same page - thrilled to pieces about it- and this precious little addition should arrive sometime towards the end of August! Yay!!!

Much more to come and updates, but that is all for now... just wanted to share my good news!!!

note: favorite snack this week: "babybel" cheese with Pink Lady apples! delish!

Baby on the Way!

My sister, Jenny, is due to have her second baby this friday. Which means of course I can't stop thinking about her and the baby and anything related. Her and her husband decided to torture us all by not finding out the sex of the baby! So I can't buy anything, really because she doesn't want everything to be yellow. I keep seeing things that could be perfect, like this adorable "little brother" onesie... but of course it could just as easily be the opposite of perfect. (However, my bets are all on them having a boy!!!) They have a 2 and a half year old daughter- May, who is going to be a wonderful big sister! I'm so excited and shaking with anticipation, and at the same time I am remembering just how much life changed going from one child to two.

Our boys are nearly two and half years apart, but I remember feeling like Elijah was still my little baby right up until Owen was born. Then he seemed huge and so grown up. The big brother role came so automatically to him that I was extremely grateful. However we did watch an extra lot of sesame street movies and pbs kids those first few months when I was "zombied out" on the couch nursing a newborn. My days were no longer just about Elijah, they were about balancing, giving up on things I didn't used to, and surviving, mostly.

At first it felt like we would never do anything. We were home bound day in and day out. But as the weeks passed, it got easier, routine set in, and all of a sudden I got my life back. And at the same time, my life had gone through a major make-over. We had morphed into a family of four. Martin and I were more of a team than ever with both of us having a little one to put in the car, or a job to do with one or the other, all day long.

Now Owen is a few months past two, and he's the one watching PBS and gabbing on about the new things he finds in his world. Soon he'll have a new baby cousin to love! The family is growing... I wish I could stretch myself far enough to be with them all. I will be going to stay with Jenny and her new addition to the family at the end of May, but by then baby may be nearly a month old! (since she is due today!!!)

My prayers are with her... she has chosen to have an at home birth with a midwife!!! Yay Jen, you rock! I know that she will be strong and I hope she has a wonderful delivery. Birth is such an amazing experience, especially if you are able to do it the way God intended- naturally! I wouldn't trade my natural birth with Owen for anything!

Good Luck, Jen! I am thinking of you and baby every minute!!!

Baby Aletheia is Here!

Every woman labors differently. And the entire process of pregnancy to birth and delivery... the whole package still amazes me. God certainly designed it all perfectly. My birth stories are completely different from yours and every other woman in the world. That too is amazing and wonderful. And Tanya's story from my point of view would hardly be accurate, but I can tell you what I saw, what I heard and what I experienced as I waited for my second niece to be born.

Wednesday morning I got a call from my brother. They were on there way to the hospital- it was time! Her water broke shortly after arriving at the hospital- a great sign! I could hardly hold in my excitement, so while I waited for Martin to get some sleep and Owen to get a nap as well, I did the only thing I could think to busy myself and yet still be productive. I made muffins. I mashed bananas, measured flour, and poured the mixture into paper cups as I daydreamed of the miracle about to happen just minutes away. I couldn't wait. For me, birth has a very positive connotation. this isn't true of course for all women. I can't help thinking of the connection to our creator, the way he equipped us all with the empowering task that men will never fully understand. It gives me chills just thinking of it now.

We arrived at the hospital sometime after lunch. I was so proud of my brother for remaining his calm usual self, comforting his laboring wife, but I was even more proud of her. She kept her breathing controlled, staying on top of each contraction. Great Job Tanya! Though we are equipped to handle it, labor is called labor for a reason. It isn't an easy experience. We watched the contractions rise and fall on the monitor...amazing. I was so grateful to be able to be a part of this. The only other births I had been to were my own.

Tanya labored and breathed for hours and hours. We all wondered whether this baby would ever come out. I won't go in to all the details for like I said before that is not my story to tell. I was there to wait, to comfort, to love. At 1:01 am Thursday morning, Aletheia graced us with her presence. The first time I saw her, she was in my brother's strong arms, bundled in blankets, wearing a white hospital hat. All I could see of her was her delicate face- Tanya's lips and all the other features a perfect mix of the two. She blinked a greeting to me, and I got a glimpse of her cloudy eyes (which will most likely turn to blue). What a reward! After waiting all day, just to see her was all I needed! I can't wait to see her grow and watch my brother and friend (sister-in-law) join me on this journey called parenthood. It is quite a ride, but they are off to a good start. I could tell the next day when we went back to visit. Though Aletheia was under that blue light to help with her jaundice, the whole room felt unusually calm. Her special baby sunglasses made me smile. Her tiny cry was almost laughable, so cute compared to what I'm used to. It only took a few rubs and pats and she quieted down. This is going to be one laid back family.
Congratulations James and Tanya!

Aletheia (Greek for truth)
8 lbs. 1oz.
she is beautiful!

(sorry I don't have any pictures downloaded yet)!

Our Impossible gift

We've lived in our house for just over ten months now, and the newness of it still hasn't faded. I can't get over how perfect it is for our family of four; three bedrooms, two bathrooms, hard wood floors and a beautiful kitchen complete with new stainless steel appliances and a granite tiled island. I'm still amazed at how it all worked out, and I still feel like I don't deserve it.
Last February, we had just welcomed our second baby boy into the world and we were living graciously in the empty home of church family who were gone temporaily. The plan was to find our own place to live sometime in March, most likely another apartment. But I had vowed to leaving the "home searching" up to Martin, my hubby, hoping that would eleviate the stress, and with a new baby, I really didn't have any extra energy.
Martin made a few calls after looking through the newspaper one Saturday morning and then asked, "Do you want to go look at a house?" A house? Had he lost his mind? First of all I knew there was no way we'd be able to afford anything on the market, second of all, I had a two week old baby in my arms and house hunting didn't sound all that appealing.
I humored him anyways.
He promised it would be fun just to get out of the house and it couldn't hurt just to look.
It could hurt.
Though the house was unfinished, as soon as I walked in the door, I had fallen in love with it. It had vaulted ceilings, and felt so open, but yet cozy too. I could easily imagine the boys playing in the living room, and making a splash in tub of the nicely sized bathroom. As I walked through the rest of the house I began to do the numbers in my head, but no matter how I worked it, there was no way we could afford this house.
On the way home I couldn't help but wish there was a way."What do you think?" Martin finally asked.
"I love it!" I said half smiling. I couldn't deny it, but what could we do?
"That's all I needed to know," he said.
Over the next month he worked with the bank. Under God's good graces we qualified for a loan just over the price of the house. I couldn't believe it. I felt like I had just been handed the keys to the door of impossibility. I had been ready to accept renting again, though I dreaded it.

We moved in the middle of April into the little brick-faced house on Iago street. The boys do play effortlessly every day in the spacious living room, and make a splash out of bathttime in their very own bathroom, and every night when I'm turning out the last light in the house I thank God for this impossible gift.