Monday, May 23, 2011

Off to see the Baby!

What a beautiful day! I can see real bumblebees outside my window doing their tedious job- amazing! Did you know, scientifically speaking bumblebees shouldn't be able to fly? Their wings are too small for their large fuzzy bodies, and yet here they are a miracle right in my very own yard!

I'm leaving in only a few short hours to see the newest little miracle that joined our family nearly three weeks ago... my nephew - Xavier! I'll be staying with my sister for nine whole days helping with the new baby, entertaining her two year old, and probably doing some cooking etc. I'm so excited about the trip!

It will be hard to be away from my own little ones, since I've never been away this long before. They don't quite understand that mommy is going my herself to visit aunt Jenny and cousins, but they will be in good hands. I know they have needed some daddy time, so this will be the perfect opportunity for just the boys to do some stuff together.

Today I have let a few things slide that I usually don't -all just because I'm going to miss them. Why not let Owen skip nap-time and soak in some extra sunshine? Vanilla pudding for lunch? okay. This morning I snuggled with my two year old baby while we watched sesame street. He actually wanted to sit on my lap! Why not...

Right now the two of them are playing outside (and no one is even screaming or snatching toys)! Elijah is showing Owen how to skip and teaching him about bugs. They really are the best of brothers. It always amazes me how they work so well together. Usually Elijah is the leader, being the oldest, but every once in a while Owen will decide they ought to do things his way. Earlier they were playing "follow the leader," and doing a pretty good job of it. At two and four, that's pretty impressive! They are both in the common phase of "watch me!" And I love that God has given me that as my job, simply to "watch" them.

I will miss my kind-hearted boys, their curiosity, their silliness, and their hugs.

Wish me luck...
I'm on my way!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

"Swimsuit Blues"

"I hate you swimsuit, oh yes I do; I hate you swimsuit, it's true!"

I am convinced that since the beginning of time, out of all the articles of clothing... women have struggled with the swimsuit most of all. What style, what color, are all the right parts covered, and then of course, does it make me look fat?
Since the age of twelve, I've been among the strugglers. I wasn't allowed to wear a two-piece then, but that wasn't the problem. I couldn't wait for my slim stick figure to turn curvy. Then, my blue velour one-piece with the yellow flowers made me feel young when I wanted to feel grown-up.

The next phase didn't come far behind- the phase of nothing looks good on me, I'll just cover it all up! (I may still be stuck in that phase... a little). I spent the majority of my teen years wearing what looked like a tank top and shorts to the beach. Which I don't regret in any way... in fact I'm glad I didn't have the nerve to wear an itty bitty bikini like some of my friends. Part of the swimwear problem is that inappropriate scrimps of material are passing off as accepted/expected beach attire.
I never could pull off the two-piece. Even the ones that were actually decent, well I couldn't bolster the confidence. I made two attempts. The first, I found at Target my freshmen year in college and dreamed about wearing it, and how if I just lost a few more pounds it would look perfect on me. It was sort of like a tube top- pink and black blocks of color. I convinced myself to buy it just before school let out for the summer. The only time I wore it was when I spent the day with my then boyfriend (who is now my hubby), climbing up to a waterfall. I wore shorts with it, but felt horribly self-conscience the entire time, and vowed to myself never to wear it again.

My second attempt was on my honey moon. I decided to buy my first ever bikini, hoping that only my new husband would see me in it. Those hopes were met, the two of us walked down to the hot tub at our hotel... and that is the only time that bikini ever saw the light of day (with a towel wrapped around most of my body).

So here we are again, summer is practically upon us. Swimsuits started glaring at us in January, oh the cruelty, now half of them are on clearance! I haven't bought one or been seen in one since the honey moon. Why bother? When we go to the beach I wear shorts or a sun dress, but there's that part of me that still wishes to find the perfect suit. One that hides all my bad parts and accentuates the good ones. (the few that are left after two babies).

I think I might just have a sickness- fear of swimsuits? if you don't already agree with me, you'll understand after this- So Target lured me in again. I was just minding my own business, buying the usual diapers when the swimsuits called out to me, "just take a look, a little gander... dream a little." "Why not?" I said to myself, oh yeah I also talk to myself, add that to the sickness list. I looked, I admired. And then on the clearance rack, she sang out to me, the perfect suit, or so I thought, a vintage fifties styled black and white polka-dotted one-piece! Half off... should I try it on? I did. The dim lighting hid most of my thunder-thighs, then it occurred to me, I could buy shorts to match! It was looking good. Okay, I'll do it. I bought the suit feeling very optimistic. It actually seemed like a good idea, I smiled all the way home about it, thinking about playing with the kids at the beach in my polka dots and little shorts with sailor stripes and anchors on them.

I returned the suit and shorts this morning. I know, what you're thinking- sickness. It's true. I tried them on when I got home. What was I thinking? It didn't look good on me. But what swimsuit does, or ever will. So I'm back to tanks, shorts and sun-dresses this summer. What about you? Are you crazy like me with insecurities so great you hide behind regular clothes? Or maybe we're all in this together, a little insecure here and there. We all want to look and feel great, so what's
the big deal?

Friday, May 6, 2011

Dear Mom, Thanks!

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother." -Abraham Lincoln

Dear Mom,

Thank you for the little things. You are the one who taught me that a little thing can make a big difference, simply by your thoughtful example. You never pointed out, "this is how you make someone feel special," you just did it, and many many times I got to be on the receiving end of your "little things." Sometimes it was a card left in my doorway so I'd find it when I woke up. Other times it was remembering that skirt I'd pointed out and loved and surprising me with it. And sometimes it was choosing the kind of cheese I liked instead of the kind you like.

Thanks for treating me like me and no one else. This is an important one, and something that you understood better than most parents, I think. You are good at making me feel like an individual and always have been. Thank you for loving me for me.

Thanks for teaching me how to do my own laundry and make my own lunch, and for letting me stand on the chair in the kitchen so I could watch you make pancakes. When they are covered in little bubbles, that's when you flip 'em!

Thank you for listening. You probably didn't want to hear all that I bombarded you with over the years, but you sat and you listened. You kept my secrets and didn't make me feel silly about them.

Thanks for strawberry milk and donuts. (those were some of my favorite mornings- just us on our way to school).

Thank you for not giving up on yourself. When you graduated with your teaching degree, I knew that I could do anything too. I also know that you can do more than anything, sometimes I catch you doing the impossible.

Thank you for lots and lots of hugs. I've always been someone who needs them in abundance.

Thank you for teaching me to read, and for reading with me at home, and taking my education as a first priority. I love books because of you, and I love learning too.

Thank you for giving me chores and teaching me responsibility. I'll never forget "The confiscation drawer" where left out toys got sent to live a long and lonely life. Of course I had to keep asking you to say that big "c" word just so I could remember what the drawer was called.

Thank you for worrying about me -in the middle of the night when I coughed, or when I was out with friends too late, and when I moved far far away after a boy and you had to let me.

Thank you for taking the time to french-braid my hair, and for teaching me to paint my nails from left to right so I wouldn't smudge. "practice makes perfect!"

Thank you for your creativity. I don't think I've ever spent a day bored in my life. You taught me how to be resourceful, and to use everything for good -waste nothing whether it's an attitude or an apple.

Thank you for loving my daddy, and showing me how a wife should treat her husband.

Most of all, I am grateful for your faith, not that your faith is my faith, but that your God is my God and I know Him because of you. You led me to the foundation to build my life on and that is the greatest gift of all.

Naturally, I could never fit all I want to say, or all that I am grateful for to my angel mother, but it's easy to say I strive to be like her. When I found out I was going to be a mom five years ago, I looked to my mom for wisdom and the love that she is always so willing to give.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MOM! and to all other mothers everywhere- let's celebrate who we are and who we are striving to become!



This is a cute little story I found called: When God Created Mothers
http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/421248