I started this blog partially due to the fact that ever since my husband starting working nights, I find myself functioning differently. He leaves around 9:30pm every night. The house is quiet with only the ticking of our kitchen clock.
A few nights a week I occupy my time with addictively staring at the T.V. watching old seasons of Grey's Anatomy play on the screen (thanks to Netflicks). Of course I knew this would happen, I had almost planned the whole thing... my addiction to Greys Anatomy, that is. Once he told me that the night shift job looked promising, I made him promise me Netflicks, and then the affair began. I knew I would need something to keep me distracted from the loneliness.
And it worked.
The first few weeks I happily distracted myself with the first season. It had me laughing and crying, and undenyably falling easily in love with the whole silly ordeal. As soon as both boys were asleep, I'd grab my snack of choice, or a cookie I'd been hiding and dreaming about all day, situate myself on our heavenly comfortable couch and as soon as the theme music sang in my ears I wouldn't feel alone anymore. I felt like my living room was full of friends. Though my day may have taken many unexpected turns like cleaning up 3-year-old messes, and running to the store hoping the last diaper holds until the new ones are paid for, I could count on my "friends" being there for me when the house again was quiet.
I realize it's sort of a silly indulgence, and that I do need some actual human friends to come be in my living room, but a little retreating can't hurt. That's where I've decided to set my limits, on a little retreating. I have to admit that some nights I couldn't bring myself to push the stop button. It wasn't just because I needed to find out what happens next, but it was that feeling when you're at your best friends house and you just don't want to leave. You stay an extra hour or two, lunch becomes dinner, and when you finally bring yourself to put on your shoes, it's so dark you can't see where you parked your car.
So you get the idea, I have fake T.V. friends who I have the power to keep hostage.
But now, when the house is quiet I need more than that. So I am limiting my guilty pleasure. My goal is to allow myself one episode per sitting. Quiet time beyond that, I have to fill with something else...writing this blog for instance.
p.s. currently I'm on season four... Derek is dating Rose! Ugh! He better get his act together! (I'm not obsessed, really)!
Awe...I know how hard that night shift can be. I too relied on Netflix to get me through. That and working on some crafts. It's hard going to bed knowing that your hubby won't be there to snuggle with. I say buy a body pillow and do something that helps you look forward to going to bed at night (even if it is alone). You could get some lavender pillow spray, take a hot bath each night, or buy some super relaxing (or spiritually uplifting) music that you only listen to on those lonely nights.
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