Real, True, Ugly, Love

(The boys coloring Valentines together)!

We are all thinking about love this month as the red hearts of Valentines day bombard us everywhere we go. But what is real love? This holiday makes it confusing for some, frustrating for others, and well some of us just "go with it." When I think about love, it is a growing part of me. I can look back and see different stages, they repeat themselves, because I now see some of those same stages in my kids. Here are a few things I have learned about love...

Misconception:

Love is Pretty. Especially around Valentines Day, love is perceived as this beautiful, easy thing. There are flowers everywhere, people overspend just to make an impression, and there is the illusion of living in a Hollywood love affair.

So... Love is not pretty. It took me a while to realize this. It isn't just the day you get flowers. Real love is there for the ugliest parts of life. The day when you can wipe your Love's bottom because they can't do it anymore, and still kiss them everyday.... well that's what I call ugly Real True Love.

Maybe that's not something you've thought about, or even something you want. Maybe you like the illusion. Ten years ago, that was enough for me. But now I'm so thankful that I've found true love, ugly love, and it's sticking with me forever. I hope that when things get ugly and hard that I will be able to do whatever I need to for the love of my life.

Truth:

Love is simple. Just like every great gift in life, I believe love at it's best is pure simplicity. It's easy to see when you look through the eyes of a child. My boys amaze me sometimes when they look at me that way. Often I feel undeserving. Their love is innocence. It is pure. They don't usually have a reason for telling me that they love me, they just do. See: simple. When you love someone there shouldn't be strings attached, conditions to be carried out, love is simply love.

Love is still an amazing concept to me. Even though it's simple, it's depth is fascinating. Why we love, how we love, who we love, and why we are loved are all stirring around in my head. God gives us amazing abilities and capacities to use this gift of loving others even when we are ugly or ugly to each other. And after we've confused ourselves with the meaning of love, God reminds us that he made it simple, love one another deeply from the heart.