Sweaty and Sore

After five days of sticking with my workout regiment (sweating and panting for 30-45 minutes every evening) I am feeling sore in places I haven't been able to feel in months. Everything hurts... but in a good way. At least I know something is happening, my body is reacting to all of this effort and those muscles that have been buried under all that "baby weight" are really there after all.
I really feel it when I have to bend down, or squat to lift up my twenty-two pound baby! Whoo! He's half of my workout... can't wait for him to start walking so I won't have to lug him every where. And I know what you're thinking, I'll regret that statement when he's running around tearing down my bookshelves etc. But I'm aware, and believe me when I say I would much rather have him running. As it is, my right side is getting particularly strong from continually lifting him to my hip.
So, I've completed my first week of what I'm calling "March Madness," and I have to say I feel a certain pride knowing that I have stuck with it this far! One week doesn't sound like a lot, but everyday I have to remind myself why I'm doing this and that I'm worth it. The exercise that goes on in my mind is far more than what actually happens once I turn on that cardio step video. I think we can all identify with the truth that the emotions behind making a change are far more challenging than the change itself. For me it is self-confidence: that has been my life-long struggle. I'm recognizing that I have very negative self-talk, which affects every part of my life. This is what I truly need to change. Accomplishing reasonable goals is a good start.

I have the advantage of a personal motivator... his name is Elijah and he's three. He refers to my workout as "the moves." When he remembers, he'll plead with me, "mommy can I do the moves with you...please!" At first it was a bit challenging and distracting having him bouncing around next to me and running circles around me. Now we've worked out some rules. I lay a small blanket of his out on the floor and that is his space. He's allowed to stand up, sit up, or whatever he wishes, but he has to stay on the blanket. I also put out an array of other activities that keep him occupied when he starts to get bored, such as stamps, coloring pages, picture finds, etc. This system works pretty well. It's not quite as effective as the days when I do it alone, but I like the company. It's surprising how much he picks up. He's the sort of kid that sees everything in black and white, rules are rules and you have to follow them precisely. Sometimes while I"m doing the video he'll tell me things like, "mommy you have to put your water bottle in front of the step, just like her!" or heaven forbid I stop the video and do my own cool down! tonight he almost threw a fit saying, "but mommy it's not over yet! You have to turn it back on!" when I decided to stretch on my own. He's such a character and a great reminder of why I want this so badly. I want to run outside with him and be a great example of health, so he never has to worry.